Facelift

That's right: there's some changes a-brewin' around these here parts.

After having finally moved and successfully navigated the laptop's seemingly endless array of dipshit-switches and buttons and whatchamahoobeys that made it unable to hook up to the new place's wireless, yours truly made some tweaks on this barren wasteland of a website.

Some may be purely cosmetic, but the important ones -- the ones that will rock your coccyx until it taints your taint -- are deftly hidden, like Michael Kay's sense of objectivity.

I feel renewed. Rejuvenated. Rekindled. Reborn. Really, really hungry.

All I've had today was a bagel and a banana in the morning. I was going to eat tonight, but I got so caught up in redesigning and whatnot that I didn't even bother to eat.

That's how it's going to be know. The appetite will suffer. The workload will pile up. The social scene will fade into oblivion. The sex life will assuredly take the inevitable tumble off whatever cliff it was straddling in the first place. All ties, all relationships, all links to the outside world will be severed.

More posts. More jokes. More absurd analogies. More terms like "banana-eating shitpuffs." More hackneyed, cockeyed opinions. MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE.

Because that's the way it should be.

And to help us on this endeavor will be a new member. They will be introduced shortly, and feted with a half-drank Steel Reserve and a ticker-tape parade of my old pay stubs and tax forms.

Fuck the past. Live the future. Get busy blogging, or get busy dying.

Or something like that.

Oh, and another thing we're doing is acting all accountable and shit. Above photo courtesy of people.com