While we have no empirical evidence that I suck (there are no Sivitses in popular culture), allow me to point you toward Nevada. See those lights over there? Yes, that's none other than Viva Laughlin, a show so heart-stoppingly horrific that uber-handsome ultra-male Hugh Jackman himself couldn't save it. Wolverine can't help? Way to suck the life out of gambling, loser.
First off, I don't appreciate that kind of language. Secondly, Colorado has some of the best microbrews and kind bud in the entire country - not to mention sweet, sweet ski bunnies. As a state, our homosexuality is limited to people who strongly preach against that kind of behavior. North Carolina is home to Duke, which strongly exemplifies that kind of behavior.
You do have a vast array of effective low-post moves coupled with a pair of gorilla arms so absurdly lengthy you can A) block my shots despite me being a few inches taller, and both of us sharing gravity-accepting verticals, and B) tie your shoes without bending over. You're also impossible to move due to a torso shaped like a barrel and consisting of hardened concrete. I do, however, have a better jumper than you. So eat me.
You know, one was bad enough, but this was just pushing it.
You're mine, shit-cow.
I'm gonna fucking own you.