Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Orton Hears a Boo

Oh, man. What a terrible debut. That's not really how I wanted to introduce myself to my new team, fans, and city. Wait, what's that?


Hello? Who's that?

We're the Boos. We're Bronco fans.

Wh- where ... where are you? I can hear you, but I can't see you.

We're in your inner ear.

How'd you get in there? Bronco fans are people. They're normal size!

Not since Jay Cutler said we were a 6 compared to Chicago's 9. Because of the altitude, we shrunk even more. It had an adverse effect. That chubby, no-chin, cookie-eating bastard didn't know what he was doing. Particle physics are no place for a Vanderbilt grad.

Man. I ... I had no idea. Hey, what's that buzzing sound?

What? Oh, that? Nothing. We're just getting Chris Simms's initials tattooed on our legs.

Holy fuck I'm drunk.