Sooner, Boomer

Yup. It's official. Spring training hasn't even started yet and already the San Diego Padres lead the major leagues in one very important category: 40-year-old starting pitchers.

That's right.

On opening day the combined age of Wells, Greg Maddux and relievers Doug Brocail and Trevor Hoffman will be ... wait for it ... wait for it ... 161. 161!!!

While I'm not 100% gung-ho on this signing, I'm not completely against it, either. Will Wells make 30 starts? Ummm ... no. 25? Probably not. I'd be happy with 20 to 22 starts, maybe 10 or 11 wins, and an ERA under 4.00. That would be fine by me.

Let's face it - Boomer's no Jack LaLanne. He's going to be injured at some point. But if his Bambino-sized bravado (and ownership of a wicked hammer) combine with Maddux's encyclopedic knowledge of even the most arcane pitching minutiae to rub off on some of the younger pitchers, then however many millions they end up giving both of these elder statesmen will be more than worth it.

Besides, who needs power at the corner positions when you've got the AARP going two out of every five games?