A Completely Ludicrous Prediction To Kick Things Off

The Mets will win the World Series.

Yup. That's right. I said it. And I'm even a Padres fan, man.

Look, they're loose. Pedro's rolling around with a freaking kid's glove to fuck with Jose Reyes after they stomp the ever-loving shit out of the Dodgers (and, yes, I enjoyed typing that)? Paul LoDuca's divorcing Playboy models and NOBODY IN NEW YORK CARES? Tom Glavine goes from a potential Powder one week to goddamn Warren Spahn the next? And this isn't happening?

I've heard enough of the weak NL. Look, we get it. They suck. Ok. But the Pirates beat the Yankees in 7 in 1960 and got outscored 55-27, and you're telling me something like that couldn't happen again? The Mets couldn't get decent-enough pitching and slug the stitches off the ball to win four games in a week against ANY of the top AL teams? Bullshit.

The A's always fold in October; the Tigers are too young and overworked; the Twins never have enough offense when it counts; the White Sox have a rotation that makes me pine for the days of the Colorado Silver Bullets; and the Yankees are...well, I both hate and fear the Yankees. So there.

But I'm telling you, boy, nothing's a better remedy for the long, bleak oppressive season and the impending cauldron of October than playing ball when you're having fun. And the Mets are having some fun.

(If you're expecting a bunch of links and pictures and shit, look elsewhere. There may be some in the future, but for now, I'm just gonna write about stuff and assume that you assholes have already heard this shit somewhere else. And seen some pictures about it. Because, unlike me, you probably don't have a job. Or you have one that allows you to spend countless hours just surfing the internetwebnet. Well, not me. I have 2 jobs and very, very little time. So you get text and not much else. Suck it, bitches.)