Monday, June 23, 2008

Q and A with horseracing expert, buisiness or leisure



When do you think the Big Brown "loose shoe" revelation would have been important?
BEFORE THE FUCKING COCKSUCKING RACE. I lost ten cents on that run.

Did the injury hurt Big Brown's chance to win?
I don't know, maybe we should ask Bi-- OH RIGHT IT'S A FUCKING HORSE. IT DOESN'T TALK SO THERE'S NO FUCKING WAY WE CAN CONJECTURE THAT. Fucking ESPN.

How do you feel about the steroid issue in the sport?
I give give two living fucknickels about this shit. The horses the owners, hell, the entire sport is filled with banana-eating shitpuffs. Think about it: THEY'RE HORSES. They don't know what steroids are or what drugs they've taken. All they know is run when the man says so. They're animals and they don't know what they are doing. Fuck them all.

What do you think the Barbaro and Eight Belles controversy will do in the next round of races next year?
Give uncreative blog commenters more to talk about and take more coverage away from the NBA playoffs next year.

If the trainers and owner of Big Brown raced him despite knowing about his condition, does that make them cruel?
It makes them history chasers. The same ideal that made the lifetime bureaucrats ride George Bush into Iraq to get their names into history books drove these assholes to push a horse. Again, it's a horse. What does it matter to them? If it wins,m they are heroes and a book is written about the horse with all their names in it. If it loses, ESPN talks about them for the next year. It's a win-win.

Is their a science to picking horses?
HORSES. YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT HORSES. NO. THERE IS NO SCIENCE.

Do you like Band of Horses?
I have no problem with them. They're pretty good, yeah.

Does Phony look like a horse?
No comment.

You don't seem like the typical horse expert. What's your background?
No comment.

Why so bitter?
I hate horses. To me, they are like cars. I don't get into people using machines or animals for sport. It's inhuman.

Is there something deeper here?
I dated a couple of girls who were obsessed with horses. Shit was weird. Horses are not humans. I stand by that. Fucking equus girls.

Horses?
NO THANKS.

4 comments:

Phony Gwynn said...

Does Phony look like a horse?
No comment.


Oh, that's a comment, you clitpickler.

I dated a couple of girls who were obsessed with horses. Exactly how obsessed we talking here, champ? Did ol' Bucky hollow out a few of your wags? Make it like throwing a hot dog down a hallway, did it?

STOP BLAMING THE HORSIES FOR YOUR PENILE INADEQUACIES.

Phony Gwynn said...

Oh, and I just noticed you spelled your own damn name wrong in the headline, shitbird.

Business or Leisure? said...

I was drunker than even you believe I was. No shit. The post stays EXACTLY how I wrote it.

Business or Leisure? said...

And, yes, the above comment is supposed to sound drunk. That's why it is funny.